Packing is, in short, absurd.
I've never mentioned on here how much I really just don't like the chore of packing. It wasn't really terrible when I used to be able to just take everything from school, leave it stored in the basement untouched all summer, and then drag it upstairs again come August, load up the car, and be on my way.
This time though, I don't need half of what I used to have at school. No kitchen stuff is a biggie. That saves me a lot of space. And that part is easy, all the kitchen stuff is in 2 massive containers downstairs. Done and done.
But it's going to be hard to condense down everything else for this coming year. The biggest thing is clothes- I have way too many. I'm a girl, what do you want from me? And I think almost all of us have a little weight fluctuation while in college, so a lot of this stuff doesn't fit anymore, it's just around in case I lose a few pounds and my current stuff stop fitting. Honestly, I need to just clear out my large duffel bag already and stop hanging onto quite so much clothing. If I happen to need a couple new pairs of pants in the next few months I can go out and buy them. In the mean time, I don't have a lot of space for a mound of "what-if" clothing.
Ok, so there's a promise to myself, I'm going to march upstairs and clean out that massive bag once and for all.
I'm also huge on decorating my room, I always have been since I was a kid. I like a lot on my walls or on my shelves to make a space feel homey and comfortable. I have a few knick-knacks I always like to have on my desk or dresser, I have lots of pictures/posters/etc that I like to have on my walls. I like to put myself into my room, make it my own. And I really like to have things to look at while I'm falling asleep and my mind wanders endlessly.
I went through a lot of this stuff earlier this afternoon and condensed it down quite a bit. Most of what I'm taking is going to be pictures, I'm an absolute picture nut. But I am definitely trying to tone it down from what I've decorated my room with in the past, my walls would be covered in posters, a couple flags, pictures everywhere. I'm not decorating a dorm room anymore, so I'm trying to simplify it. I will probably pack more decorative stuff than I will use, but I'll see how I can transform my little room at the Mount into my own little sanctuary, without going overboard.
So I guess I'm trying to find my happy medium between packing way too much stuff (which is my usual) and not having enough, or more specifically, the things I really need. It's amazing how much stuff just accumulates in 4 years. I still even have stuff in boxes upstairs in my sister's closet (my old room) from when I was in high school. A lot of it needs to just be thrown away finally. But it's hard to just throw out things that hold memories. Same with a lot of this stuff from the last four years, there's a lot of memories there.
But, I know how good it feels to donate old clothes, books and things I know I'll never touch again. It feels good to finally make some free space (the possibilities are endless for it!) But above all, it's that much less crud that I have to move out someday when I have my own place again :)
Hopefully I'll stop pushing off this packing thing. I've done a couple of hour-long stints in the last couple of weeks, just trying to get a start on it, which is the hardest part. But I keep stopping, "eh, it will be easier to pack when it's almost time to go." hellllllloooooooo, it is almost time to go, we're talking less than two weeks here! And I keep reminding myself that I don't want to spend my last few days home worrying about packing, I just want to spend those last three days after I finish work and before I leave just relaxing with my family, instead of running around like a lunatic and just cramming stuff into this box or that bag.
Wish me luck with the rest of this beastly task, I know it's not going down without a fight!
Peace,
Carrie
Monday, August 8, 2011
Monday, August 1, 2011
August....already?
It's ridiculous how fast the time flies sometimes. Forget that it feels like just yesterday that I graduated college and my summer started, it also feels like just yesterday that I was gearing up for my freshman year to start.
It's weird, not getting myself ready to start another year at Canisius. It was always a mixed feeling of excitement and apprehension once August began and the countdown to move-in started. Buying stuff for my dorm/apartments, getting school supplies, spending a fortune on books (ick). I'd always be so excited to get back to the city I love, and seeing my friends again that I live so far away from. I'd be excited at the thought of the new classes I would be taking, and seeing my favorite professors. I'd promise myself at the start of every year that I would be totally on top of all my work and be the best student ever-but that would wear off by the third week of class when I was sick of reading and papers haha!
And then the countdown to the end of the semester would begin. When the newness and excitement would wain and I'd be itching to make it through another semester of late nights filled with papers and reading, on top of a hectic work schedule. My stress level would start to rise, and I just couldn't wait to hit that finish line, blast through all my final papers and projects, and get that reward of my grades at the end. Somehow, still in tact.
I loved being a college kid, stress and all. I loved every moment of it, but I did always push myself to the next days/week/month/semester way too fast. It flew by me, and sometimes I didn't stop enough to really appreciate the greatest time of my life, because the stress was just too high some weeks to focus on anything else.
So here I am now, both longing for that feeling of gearing up for a new year at Canisius, but at the same time relieved that I don't have to deal with the stress of another academic year. Not right now anyway.
I'm gearing up for something totally new and exciting. I'm moving onto the next big step in my life in just 19 days, and I'm moving somewhere brand new to me. I'll once again pack up most of my life into my little red car, and drive westward toward another new beginning. This time though, I'll bypass the city I have grown to love so much for the last 4 years, and continue two hours more onto my new home for the next year at the Mount. It's going to be an emotional day, I know I'll probably cry more than once on that long car ride, as my thoughts race and I imagine what's in store for me, and I'm always sad to say by to my family and my pup at the end of another extended time home.
It's surreal to think that it's only 19 days away. The big move is almost staring me in the face. I'm excited, I'm scared, I'm nervous, and I'm not yet ready for my summer to be done. I pray the next 19 days take their time. As much as I'm sick of work, and can't wait until my last shift on the 16th, I also don't want to wish away these final days home with my family and my dogs.
I need to remind myself to slow down and enjoy the moment more often. It's something I'd like to work on in the coming months and year. I don't need to wish my time away, it's marching on fast enough on its own. Instead of watching the time pass, willing it to go just a little quicker to reach the end of the work day, or whatever, I need to watch everything else going on around me. Everyday is its own, and I need to savor that day, because no matter how good or bad a day, or an entire week might feel, I'll never get those moments back.
So here's my promise to myself to enjoy the coming days as much as possible, work included (haha!), and to stop focusing on that number of days left. I don't need to countdown the days, they're doing that for me on their own. My job is to just enjoy what they bring.
Peace,
Carrie
It's weird, not getting myself ready to start another year at Canisius. It was always a mixed feeling of excitement and apprehension once August began and the countdown to move-in started. Buying stuff for my dorm/apartments, getting school supplies, spending a fortune on books (ick). I'd always be so excited to get back to the city I love, and seeing my friends again that I live so far away from. I'd be excited at the thought of the new classes I would be taking, and seeing my favorite professors. I'd promise myself at the start of every year that I would be totally on top of all my work and be the best student ever-but that would wear off by the third week of class when I was sick of reading and papers haha!
And then the countdown to the end of the semester would begin. When the newness and excitement would wain and I'd be itching to make it through another semester of late nights filled with papers and reading, on top of a hectic work schedule. My stress level would start to rise, and I just couldn't wait to hit that finish line, blast through all my final papers and projects, and get that reward of my grades at the end. Somehow, still in tact.
I loved being a college kid, stress and all. I loved every moment of it, but I did always push myself to the next days/week/month/semester way too fast. It flew by me, and sometimes I didn't stop enough to really appreciate the greatest time of my life, because the stress was just too high some weeks to focus on anything else.
So here I am now, both longing for that feeling of gearing up for a new year at Canisius, but at the same time relieved that I don't have to deal with the stress of another academic year. Not right now anyway.
I'm gearing up for something totally new and exciting. I'm moving onto the next big step in my life in just 19 days, and I'm moving somewhere brand new to me. I'll once again pack up most of my life into my little red car, and drive westward toward another new beginning. This time though, I'll bypass the city I have grown to love so much for the last 4 years, and continue two hours more onto my new home for the next year at the Mount. It's going to be an emotional day, I know I'll probably cry more than once on that long car ride, as my thoughts race and I imagine what's in store for me, and I'm always sad to say by to my family and my pup at the end of another extended time home.
It's surreal to think that it's only 19 days away. The big move is almost staring me in the face. I'm excited, I'm scared, I'm nervous, and I'm not yet ready for my summer to be done. I pray the next 19 days take their time. As much as I'm sick of work, and can't wait until my last shift on the 16th, I also don't want to wish away these final days home with my family and my dogs.
I need to remind myself to slow down and enjoy the moment more often. It's something I'd like to work on in the coming months and year. I don't need to wish my time away, it's marching on fast enough on its own. Instead of watching the time pass, willing it to go just a little quicker to reach the end of the work day, or whatever, I need to watch everything else going on around me. Everyday is its own, and I need to savor that day, because no matter how good or bad a day, or an entire week might feel, I'll never get those moments back.
So here's my promise to myself to enjoy the coming days as much as possible, work included (haha!), and to stop focusing on that number of days left. I don't need to countdown the days, they're doing that for me on their own. My job is to just enjoy what they bring.
Peace,
Carrie
Monday, July 18, 2011
Here Goes.
So, here's my quick(ish) rundown of who I am, what I'm doing, and why I'm making this blog.
I'm 22 and just graduated from Canisius College with my bachelor's in psychology back in May. I'm more than half way through my summer, and 33 days away from moving into a monastery for an entire year.
Yes, you read right.
To answer the questions that are inevitable first: No, I'm not becoming a nun. And no, I'm not crazy (ok, maybe just a little, but it's part of my charm).
I'm participating in the Benedicta Riepp program with the Sisters of Saint Benedict in Erie, PA. It'll be a whole year of service in their ministries, prayer, reflection, and lots of growth spiritually and personally for me. The program is for women who find themselves in a transitory period of life and who need some time to figure out the next phase. What better time than being freshly graduated from college? I need some time to figure some things out before I go onto graduate school, and before I find myself as a full blown adult in the working world.
I'm looking forward to this coming year, but I'll admit I'm nervous. I'm mostly worried about the money issue as I have quite a burden with a car and insurance payment every month. But I've got a plan to make it work, I won't let money be the thing that stops me from doing this.
But I'm nervous about a few other aspects, and it's inevitable. I'll be living with women much older than me, and doing work that won't always be easy to handle. I'll be living further from home than I ever have before, and won't be able to come home to visit too often. But I have faith this year will be nothing but rewarding and that everything will work out. This is honestly one of the greatest things I can do for myself right now- both in preparing myself for a future career in social work, and in the spiritual and personal growth I know I will experience. And it helps that my best friend and I are doing this together, we'll have each other to lean on when times get tough.
Honestly, when it comes down to it, I couldn’t be more excited about this. The Sisters are phenomenal women, who have had quite the impact on my life. I cherish them, the monastery, and every second I spend there. I’m open to the challenges. I’m open to the changes. I can’t wait to see what the year with them has to offer.
So, here goes. The countdown is on, we're down to almost a month until this adventure begins. In the mean time I'm working lots, and trying to spend as much time as I can with my family because I won't be making it home too much this year. And I'm snuggling with my dog as much as is humanly possible- which for her is never too much.
Above all, I'm trying not to let the worries I have about this coming year get me too much. God is in control of this whole thing, it's all going to work out just fine.
Peace,
Carrie
I'm 22 and just graduated from Canisius College with my bachelor's in psychology back in May. I'm more than half way through my summer, and 33 days away from moving into a monastery for an entire year.
Yes, you read right.
To answer the questions that are inevitable first: No, I'm not becoming a nun. And no, I'm not crazy (ok, maybe just a little, but it's part of my charm).
I'm participating in the Benedicta Riepp program with the Sisters of Saint Benedict in Erie, PA. It'll be a whole year of service in their ministries, prayer, reflection, and lots of growth spiritually and personally for me. The program is for women who find themselves in a transitory period of life and who need some time to figure out the next phase. What better time than being freshly graduated from college? I need some time to figure some things out before I go onto graduate school, and before I find myself as a full blown adult in the working world.
I'm looking forward to this coming year, but I'll admit I'm nervous. I'm mostly worried about the money issue as I have quite a burden with a car and insurance payment every month. But I've got a plan to make it work, I won't let money be the thing that stops me from doing this.
But I'm nervous about a few other aspects, and it's inevitable. I'll be living with women much older than me, and doing work that won't always be easy to handle. I'll be living further from home than I ever have before, and won't be able to come home to visit too often. But I have faith this year will be nothing but rewarding and that everything will work out. This is honestly one of the greatest things I can do for myself right now- both in preparing myself for a future career in social work, and in the spiritual and personal growth I know I will experience. And it helps that my best friend and I are doing this together, we'll have each other to lean on when times get tough.
Honestly, when it comes down to it, I couldn’t be more excited about this. The Sisters are phenomenal women, who have had quite the impact on my life. I cherish them, the monastery, and every second I spend there. I’m open to the challenges. I’m open to the changes. I can’t wait to see what the year with them has to offer.
So, here goes. The countdown is on, we're down to almost a month until this adventure begins. In the mean time I'm working lots, and trying to spend as much time as I can with my family because I won't be making it home too much this year. And I'm snuggling with my dog as much as is humanly possible- which for her is never too much.
Above all, I'm trying not to let the worries I have about this coming year get me too much. God is in control of this whole thing, it's all going to work out just fine.
Peace,
Carrie
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