Some of my favorite times of the day are meals. Partially because I like to eat, but I also love the chance to sit and talk with everyone. Whether it's about everyone's day or something completely off the wall, it's almost always a good time. I think it's the best chance to learn about people, chatting away over a meal. Isn't that how any family does it? Sitting around the dinner table and catching up on whats going on in everyone's lives.
Different from a typical family set up is that here at the Mount there's about 60-something of us, and chances are good that you won't sit with the same people two meals or even two days in a row. And you never know what combination of people you're going to get. This evening at dinner Alyssa and I both set our dinner trays down before heading up for a salad. Upon returning, there were two Sisters at our table, one of whom said "It's a big gamble taking a seat at a table where you see two trays and empty seats, you never know who it's going to be."
The group at my table tonight had a very lively discussion about many different things, but seeing as 5 out of 6 of us maintain blogs, we chatted a lot about that topic. 3 of us post regularly twice a week on the same days, and we talked about the pressure involved in those constant deadlines. Sometimes a topic just won't seem to come, and in that case I usually have no problem skipping that day altogether, or just pushing it off a day (like this one for example).
The Sister who writes the Light Through Stained Glass Windows blog for the Mount said it's a discipline to post faithfully on the same days every week, and to have good topics. Because, ya know, I could just get on here and post about whatever, but that doesn't mean anyone wants to read it! Or sometimes, your ridiculous table conversation turns into a blog post. And that's always helpful :)
I always link to Alyssa's blog on my sidebar to the right, but here she is again for good measure: One Year at the Mount
Here's a link to the Oblate Blog maintained by another Sister that was at my table tonight. The other Sister's blogs can't be accessed unless you're a member of Monasteries of the Heart, which you should also check out :)
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Halfway
Coming to terms with the fact that I'm halfway through this experience isn't the easiest thing to do. I've made comments before about how hard it is to believe that it's been a year since I began this process, coming here for my first of many meetings with my director. It's hard to believe that it's been six months already since that beautiful August day when I moved in. It's funny to think about how nervous I was to begin this whole thing, worrying about everything working out with my finances, my school loans, my own ability to take on something like this.
But here I am, 6 months into it with 6 more to go, and I can't imagine being anywhere else or doing anything else or being with anyone else. I love everything about this experience so far. If I'm feeling so much and I'm only halfway through, I can't imagine how I'm going to feel when August once again rolls around and I'm onto the next chapter. But I'm not worrying about that now. Nope, I'm not.
I've spent some time today working on an assignment given to all three of us by our director that asks us to reflect on what we've learned so far about ourselves, others, God, life and Benedictinism. Not an easy task, by any means, but it's very thought provoking, and very necessary as we hit this halfway point. I feel a million and ten things about what I've learned about all of these things, about what I've been experiencing and how it's shaping me, but it's so hard to put into words. I can sum it up simply by saying that this is everything I'd hoped it would be, and more. Some days I can't believe I'm living out this wonderful blessing.
Of course, I've been writing much more than that for this little assignment of mine. It's taking me awhile to find the words for what I feel about all of this, but they're coming.
As I've been working on this and other assignments and reading and reflecting all day, I've had Pandora on to a Gregorian chant station. I highly recommend it if you like chant.
And if you don't know what Pandora is in the first place, I highly recommend it in general.
But here I am, 6 months into it with 6 more to go, and I can't imagine being anywhere else or doing anything else or being with anyone else. I love everything about this experience so far. If I'm feeling so much and I'm only halfway through, I can't imagine how I'm going to feel when August once again rolls around and I'm onto the next chapter. But I'm not worrying about that now. Nope, I'm not.
I've spent some time today working on an assignment given to all three of us by our director that asks us to reflect on what we've learned so far about ourselves, others, God, life and Benedictinism. Not an easy task, by any means, but it's very thought provoking, and very necessary as we hit this halfway point. I feel a million and ten things about what I've learned about all of these things, about what I've been experiencing and how it's shaping me, but it's so hard to put into words. I can sum it up simply by saying that this is everything I'd hoped it would be, and more. Some days I can't believe I'm living out this wonderful blessing.
Of course, I've been writing much more than that for this little assignment of mine. It's taking me awhile to find the words for what I feel about all of this, but they're coming.
As I've been working on this and other assignments and reading and reflecting all day, I've had Pandora on to a Gregorian chant station. I highly recommend it if you like chant.
And if you don't know what Pandora is in the first place, I highly recommend it in general.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Retreat
We were blessed this weekend with the opportunity for a retreat with all three Rieppers, our mentors and director. It was only from Friday evening to Saturday evening, but it was a wonderful chance to get away, spend some time together with each other and with God, and reflect deeply on the love that permeates every aspect of our lives. We created a piece of art expressing how we view love, read from Scripture, created candles and reflected on the process, took a walk in nature to reflect, read a lot, wrote a lot, and shared a lot. It was a wonderfully peaceful weekend.
Retreats have always been one of my favorite things, everyone needs a chance to step back, relax, reflect, and find peace. And there's always something so deeply enriching about spending special time with and sharing pieces of yourself with others. It always reminds me that there are threads that bind us all together, we are never alone whether it be in our struggles or in our joy.
I'll share a couple of pictures below of the weekend. We were asked to create a piece of art focusing on the word love and how we view it. After meditating on the word for a few minutes I was struck with this: Little Ordinary Vibrant Expressions. That's what love means to me. It's not always about the big, obvious expressions of love. I've learned especially since being here that love can be entirely wrapped up in the little ordinary interactions like a smile, sitting and talking with someone for a little while, a laugh or a hug from one of my kids, just merely being there for someone. I've always known these little things were expressions of love, but the true power of them, the vibrancy, is something I've comefully appreciate recently.
Retreats have always been one of my favorite things, everyone needs a chance to step back, relax, reflect, and find peace. And there's always something so deeply enriching about spending special time with and sharing pieces of yourself with others. It always reminds me that there are threads that bind us all together, we are never alone whether it be in our struggles or in our joy.
I'll share a couple of pictures below of the weekend. We were asked to create a piece of art focusing on the word love and how we view it. After meditating on the word for a few minutes I was struck with this: Little Ordinary Vibrant Expressions. That's what love means to me. It's not always about the big, obvious expressions of love. I've learned especially since being here that love can be entirely wrapped up in the little ordinary interactions like a smile, sitting and talking with someone for a little while, a laugh or a hug from one of my kids, just merely being there for someone. I've always known these little things were expressions of love, but the true power of them, the vibrancy, is something I've comefully appreciate recently.
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| My art and a wooden rose given to us as a reminder of this weekend, and the love in our lives. |
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| My sand candle |
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| Taking some time in nature, and it decided to snow :) |
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
L-O-V-E
Happy Valentine's Day everyone! It's a day all about love, and not just for a significant other, there's way more love out there to be had. Personally, I'm madly in love with life, with my family, my dearest friends, my crazy kids, these Sisters, and my little furball back home. God loves me, and I'm sharing that love with everyone I can.
Yesterday marked a couple of big things. It was on February 13th last year that Alyssa and I first came to the Mount for our initial meeting to begin the process to enter this program. I remember very vividly how nervous and excited I was, wondering how it would all turn out, not knowing if I'd be able to make it work. A whole year later, and it's crazy to see how fast it has gone, and to see how far I've come.
Last Friday was my last day at SBEC, and it was a great day. I was surprised with bagels and a couple of presents, one of them being a bag handmade by one of the refugees. It's such a nice gift and a wonderful reminder of my time there. Yesterday I began work at my new morning ministry with Emmaus, which includes the soup kitchen, food pantry, a women's advocacy program, and the Kid's Cafe. I'm still with the Kid's Cafe in the afternoons, and I'll split my time between the other three ministries in the mornings as needed. I'm excited to see what the next 6 months will bring, so far I'm enjoying it :)
Yesterday marked a couple of big things. It was on February 13th last year that Alyssa and I first came to the Mount for our initial meeting to begin the process to enter this program. I remember very vividly how nervous and excited I was, wondering how it would all turn out, not knowing if I'd be able to make it work. A whole year later, and it's crazy to see how fast it has gone, and to see how far I've come.
Last Friday was my last day at SBEC, and it was a great day. I was surprised with bagels and a couple of presents, one of them being a bag handmade by one of the refugees. It's such a nice gift and a wonderful reminder of my time there. Yesterday I began work at my new morning ministry with Emmaus, which includes the soup kitchen, food pantry, a women's advocacy program, and the Kid's Cafe. I'm still with the Kid's Cafe in the afternoons, and I'll split my time between the other three ministries in the mornings as needed. I'm excited to see what the next 6 months will bring, so far I'm enjoying it :)
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| One of my welcome signs yesterday morning :) |
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| Words of wisdom from one of my kids at the Cafe |
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Mind.Body.Soul.
The three things I'm supposed to replenish on my reflection day.
And every day, if we want to be technical about it (and why not be technical?) Everyday I should challenge my mind, expand my understanding, read from a good book. Everyday I should nurture my soul, savor the happy moments, spend time in prayer, talk with God, and more importantly listen to God. Everyday I should give my body the rest it needs, try to eat decently, and get up and move as often as I can.
Two out of three everyday isn't bad, right? I've got the mind and soul parts down, those are a little easier for me. The body is a little more of a challenge when I'm a total foodie and have almost no motivation to jump on a treadmill....ever. I prefer getting outside to get in some exercise, but that doesn't usually work so well in the winter or in a place notorious for (horrendously frequent) precipitation of every kind. And I'll totally pull the "I don't have enough time" card when it comes to exercise and immediately hear everyone call my bluff.
I've told myself the last couple of weeks that I'd start at Lent. I'll give up what's bad for me that I've been eating (yummy as it all is) and motivate myself to get up and be more active more often.
But then I was sitting on my bed, in the middle of doing some laundry and reading an assignment when I looked out the window and realized how glorious the sun was today. And it wasn't terribly cold out. And I have a new pair of running shoes I got for Christmas that haven't seen more than a brisk walk in almost two months. And the next thing I knew I was changing out of my jeans, putting on a hoodie, lacing up my sneakers and making my way to the back door. And then I was running through the woods by the herms, and then across the road down to camp, and then up the boardwalk, and *boom* I was at the lake.
It wasn't half as bad as I thought it'd be, cold and all, saying Hail Mary's the whole way to keep my mind off the fact that I was running and I hate running and I'm terribly out of shape...but who cares because it was a gorgeous day. I sat on a bench down by the lake and watched the waves crash wildly against the little stone pier, and I stretched out my cold, tight leg muscles that had no idea what in the world I was doing to them, and I breathed in the cold air burning my lungs.
And I thanked God for the cold on my legs and the wind in my face, the ache in my legs and the burning in my lungs. Because I'm alive, I'm healthy, and even if I don't like to run at least I can do it. And it was a beautiful day, and I was happy to be out enjoying it. I sat for a few more minutes, saying some prayers and feeling really content. Then I got up, and ran back to the Mount. I somehow turned something I hate doing into a relaxing, prayerful experience. Imagine that.
It's been really great that the sun is starting to peek up earlier and earlier every morning. Maybe that will motivate me enough to go for a quick jog after prayer a few mornings a week, at least as long as there's still no snow for now. There's something incredibly energizing about a good run, and I forget that. It would be really nice to start my day off rejuvenating my body and soul right off the bat.
We'll see how it goes. Wish me luck, the no-motivation-monster likes to make frequent stops at my door, especially in the morning!
And every day, if we want to be technical about it (and why not be technical?) Everyday I should challenge my mind, expand my understanding, read from a good book. Everyday I should nurture my soul, savor the happy moments, spend time in prayer, talk with God, and more importantly listen to God. Everyday I should give my body the rest it needs, try to eat decently, and get up and move as often as I can.
Two out of three everyday isn't bad, right? I've got the mind and soul parts down, those are a little easier for me. The body is a little more of a challenge when I'm a total foodie and have almost no motivation to jump on a treadmill....ever. I prefer getting outside to get in some exercise, but that doesn't usually work so well in the winter or in a place notorious for (horrendously frequent) precipitation of every kind. And I'll totally pull the "I don't have enough time" card when it comes to exercise and immediately hear everyone call my bluff.
I've told myself the last couple of weeks that I'd start at Lent. I'll give up what's bad for me that I've been eating (yummy as it all is) and motivate myself to get up and be more active more often.
But then I was sitting on my bed, in the middle of doing some laundry and reading an assignment when I looked out the window and realized how glorious the sun was today. And it wasn't terribly cold out. And I have a new pair of running shoes I got for Christmas that haven't seen more than a brisk walk in almost two months. And the next thing I knew I was changing out of my jeans, putting on a hoodie, lacing up my sneakers and making my way to the back door. And then I was running through the woods by the herms, and then across the road down to camp, and then up the boardwalk, and *boom* I was at the lake.
It wasn't half as bad as I thought it'd be, cold and all, saying Hail Mary's the whole way to keep my mind off the fact that I was running and I hate running and I'm terribly out of shape...but who cares because it was a gorgeous day. I sat on a bench down by the lake and watched the waves crash wildly against the little stone pier, and I stretched out my cold, tight leg muscles that had no idea what in the world I was doing to them, and I breathed in the cold air burning my lungs.
And I thanked God for the cold on my legs and the wind in my face, the ache in my legs and the burning in my lungs. Because I'm alive, I'm healthy, and even if I don't like to run at least I can do it. And it was a beautiful day, and I was happy to be out enjoying it. I sat for a few more minutes, saying some prayers and feeling really content. Then I got up, and ran back to the Mount. I somehow turned something I hate doing into a relaxing, prayerful experience. Imagine that.
It's been really great that the sun is starting to peek up earlier and earlier every morning. Maybe that will motivate me enough to go for a quick jog after prayer a few mornings a week, at least as long as there's still no snow for now. There's something incredibly energizing about a good run, and I forget that. It would be really nice to start my day off rejuvenating my body and soul right off the bat.
We'll see how it goes. Wish me luck, the no-motivation-monster likes to make frequent stops at my door, especially in the morning!
Monday, February 6, 2012
Super Bowl- Benedictine Style
Nothing overwhelmingly exciting went on this weekend besides the big game. Alyssa was still sick, I was still playing nurse, and we've been dog-sitting for a Sister who is out of town for a bit (by the way- "dog-sitter" is a polite way to say I'm a glorified poop scooper :P)
It was a lot of fun watching the Super Bowl here with everyone. There was lots of good food to be had, and a really nice big TV to watch the game on in HD. Not too shabby. It seemed the entire house was for the Giants, which was OK by me as I refuse to cheer for the Patriots...ever. One Sister put it oh so well "Brady should be in a tutu." Too true, Sister, too true.
One of my favorite parts of the evening may have been one Sister falling soundly asleep in the middle of the game, despite all of us hooting and hollering like maniacs at the TV. It was priceless :)
One of our elder Sisters had a bit of fun doodling on the betting pool grid. Here's a little bit of her handiwork below. I wasn't going to buy a box, I'm never one to gamble because I never win. But it was only $1, and I decided to buy a box she had drawn in. I figured maybe she knew something we all didn't.
It was a lot of fun watching the Super Bowl here with everyone. There was lots of good food to be had, and a really nice big TV to watch the game on in HD. Not too shabby. It seemed the entire house was for the Giants, which was OK by me as I refuse to cheer for the Patriots...ever. One Sister put it oh so well "Brady should be in a tutu." Too true, Sister, too true.
One of my favorite parts of the evening may have been one Sister falling soundly asleep in the middle of the game, despite all of us hooting and hollering like maniacs at the TV. It was priceless :)
One of our elder Sisters had a bit of fun doodling on the betting pool grid. Here's a little bit of her handiwork below. I wasn't going to buy a box, I'm never one to gamble because I never win. But it was only $1, and I decided to buy a box she had drawn in. I figured maybe she knew something we all didn't.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Turning Corners
I believe I've turned a corner with some of my kids at the Cafe. Some of the kids who have been the absolute hardest on me are starting to change their game a little bit, and I must say that I like it a lot.
I'm thinking of one girl in particular who from day one has challenged me left and right. She would constantly challenge everything I said to her, giving me no end of attitude and grief. But in the last couple of weeks I've been noticing a huge change in her, and I'm not sure what's triggering it.
She's been really nice, and sweet, and gives me hugs now. She mouths off much less, and when she does she immediately turns around and says she's sorry. And part of me knows she's only mouthy to impress her friends. She doesn't combat every last thing I say to her, and she's been more than willing to help me with chores around the Cafe when I ask. It's really been something else.
What really got me the other day was this: we were outside playing on an abnormally warm January day and after screwing around for awhile she stopped and said "Miss Carrie, I love you, you're like a big sister to me. Are you going to stay here for a lot of years with us?"
"Wow" doesn't even sum up what I thought when she said that. I told her she's a wonderful kid, and that I loved her too. I said I didn't know how long I would be working there with them, but that no matter how long or short it would be, I was happy for every minute of it.
And she's not the only one I've been able to build up a good relationship with. I've been there for about 5 months now, and it has taken just about this whole time for me to come into my own there. I was talking to my Mom about it last week, and I was telling her that I've decided to stay on at the Kid's Cafe for the second half of my stay here. I'm just now really starting to get it, and the kids are just now really starting to get me, I wouldn't leave that now for anything in the world.
I'm also turning another corner in that my time at SBEC is coming to an end next Friday. As I'm hitting the half way point in my year here, I think I'm ready for a different challenge and a different way to spend my mornings. It's been wonderful there, I've enjoyed working with the refugees, and I'll miss them. But part of my time here is about experiencing all I can, and while I'm not sure what my next placement will be just yet, I know it will be exciting and something brand new. I'm pretty excited :)
I'm thinking of one girl in particular who from day one has challenged me left and right. She would constantly challenge everything I said to her, giving me no end of attitude and grief. But in the last couple of weeks I've been noticing a huge change in her, and I'm not sure what's triggering it.
She's been really nice, and sweet, and gives me hugs now. She mouths off much less, and when she does she immediately turns around and says she's sorry. And part of me knows she's only mouthy to impress her friends. She doesn't combat every last thing I say to her, and she's been more than willing to help me with chores around the Cafe when I ask. It's really been something else.
What really got me the other day was this: we were outside playing on an abnormally warm January day and after screwing around for awhile she stopped and said "Miss Carrie, I love you, you're like a big sister to me. Are you going to stay here for a lot of years with us?"
"Wow" doesn't even sum up what I thought when she said that. I told her she's a wonderful kid, and that I loved her too. I said I didn't know how long I would be working there with them, but that no matter how long or short it would be, I was happy for every minute of it.
And she's not the only one I've been able to build up a good relationship with. I've been there for about 5 months now, and it has taken just about this whole time for me to come into my own there. I was talking to my Mom about it last week, and I was telling her that I've decided to stay on at the Kid's Cafe for the second half of my stay here. I'm just now really starting to get it, and the kids are just now really starting to get me, I wouldn't leave that now for anything in the world.
I'm also turning another corner in that my time at SBEC is coming to an end next Friday. As I'm hitting the half way point in my year here, I think I'm ready for a different challenge and a different way to spend my mornings. It's been wonderful there, I've enjoyed working with the refugees, and I'll miss them. But part of my time here is about experiencing all I can, and while I'm not sure what my next placement will be just yet, I know it will be exciting and something brand new. I'm pretty excited :)
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