Coming to terms with the fact that I'm halfway through this experience isn't the easiest thing to do. I've made comments before about how hard it is to believe that it's been a year since I began this process, coming here for my first of many meetings with my director. It's hard to believe that it's been six months already since that beautiful August day when I moved in. It's funny to think about how nervous I was to begin this whole thing, worrying about everything working out with my finances, my school loans, my own ability to take on something like this.
But here I am, 6 months into it with 6 more to go, and I can't imagine being anywhere else or doing anything else or being with anyone else. I love everything about this experience so far. If I'm feeling so much and I'm only halfway through, I can't imagine how I'm going to feel when August once again rolls around and I'm onto the next chapter. But I'm not worrying about that now. Nope, I'm not.
I've spent some time today working on an assignment given to all three of us by our director that asks us to reflect on what we've learned so far about ourselves, others, God, life and Benedictinism. Not an easy task, by any means, but it's very thought provoking, and very necessary as we hit this halfway point. I feel a million and ten things about what I've learned about all of these things, about what I've been experiencing and how it's shaping me, but it's so hard to put into words. I can sum it up simply by saying that this is everything I'd hoped it would be, and more. Some days I can't believe I'm living out this wonderful blessing.
Of course, I've been writing much more than that for this little assignment of mine. It's taking me awhile to find the words for what I feel about all of this, but they're coming.
As I've been working on this and other assignments and reading and reflecting all day, I've had Pandora on to a Gregorian chant station. I highly recommend it if you like chant.
And if you don't know what Pandora is in the first place, I highly recommend it in general.