It's hard to think of a post topic when my mind looks a little something like this lately:
"kadhfkjahdf374983r kjbd fdbafk@#124kajdsfalsdbvas"
I'm only mildly exaggerating.
A lot has been pressing on me, and I'll spare you the details. They're too long and complicated and I'm past that.
I've found myself wayyyy out of sorts lately. It took me about 7 months to hit a serious slump, but I hit it pretty darn hard.
I wish I could write this and say "I'm feeling like my normal self again- hoorah!" but I can't. And that's ok too. I'm transitioning, I'm getting there. I've been writing in my journal more to sort through some of my thoughts, and get out what I can't express to anyone out loud but God. I'm trying to motivate myself to be more active to blow off steam, get rid of some of this pent up energy and frustration and to spend time thinking.
Anyway, here I am. It's Monday night, it's about 9:30, I've been ready for bed since probably 6. Despite feeling tired all day and run down from a long weekend and not even getting home until about 8 tonight, I still came home, grabbed my rollerblades and my ipod and went outside to skate for about 25 minutes. It felt really good, the air was cool, the sky was growing dark and I just missed a storm by about 5 minutes when I finally came in.
Now, I titled this post music because as I was skating I had my ipod on. In general, I really like to get into my music, the lyrics, the beat, everything. I like lyrics that inspire me, I like a beat that motivates me. The right list of songs will push me through a grueling run or skate or a 4 hour car ride home.The right songs will calm me down and help me think.
As I was skating, I was picking a line out of each of the songs I was listening to. Most of them applied to me right now, some of the things I've been feeling in recent days and weeks, certain things I want to remind myself of everyday. So, here's just a few, I'll provide the Youtube links for your listening enjoyment (should you so wish to hear them) and the lines that grab at me.
Casting Crowns- The Altar and the Door
"I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard. Just let You be who you are, Lord who You are in me."
One Republic- All Fall Down
"Strong til you break, know that we all fall down."
When the Day Met the Night- Panic at the Disco
"Would it be alright if we just sat and talked for a little while if in exchange for your time I give you this smile?" (this is my all time favorite song and I feel good when I listen to it no matter what)
Mumford and Sons- Awake my Soul
"Where you invest your love, you invest your life."
Light of a Clear Blue Morning- Dolly Parton
"It's just a mountain, I can move it, and with faith enough there's nothing I can't do."
Had to throw in some Dolly at the end for good measure. Early 90's Dolly even, for extra good measure. Triple bonus points for the harmonica solo in the middle, how often do you hear that one?? It's one of my favorites that I've loved since I was a kid and another one that I can listen to no matter what mood I'm in, and suddenly I'm giddy. This song feels like a perfect prayer, by the end of it I'm uplifted. Gotta love how music can do that.