That's the sound of me hitting a minor wall.
There's a lot to this year. There's all the good that I get out of it every single day, but there are some days that are rougher than others. It's inevitable, especially when you look at the populations I work with in my ministries. There are some days now and then when I just hit my limit on bad attitude and yelling from my kids, but I love them all the same. Not because I have to, but I want to. I practically need to, I can't help but love them.
I'm blessed to come home every day to a peaceful and pleasant atmosphere. Even if I've had a rough, tiring day, I come home to prayer with the community and that usually brings me down.
I'm not blogging about this to complain in any way. It's just part of it. An honest blog about this experience has to include a little of the struggle. I keep most of it to my private journal, or to my meetings with my mentor, or some of my nightly recaps of my day with Alyssa. And I have family I can call and talk to whenever I need them. And of course I give it to God.
What kind of growing experience would this year be if I didn't face a struggle now and then? I'm never alone in them and there's always something to be gained. Whether it be patience, understanding, well earned love or respect, a new reason to pray.
I fell a little behind in my Lent reflection book last week. As it always seems to be when that happens, I got more out of a reflection question or prayer days later than I would have if I'd read it on the right day. One of the daily reflections was on vocation, and this was the prayer at the end:
"Providential God, teach us your ways. Through the gift of the Holy Spirit may we discern daily what you ask of us. Give us the gift of wisdom to know your truth; give us the gift of courage to do your will."
Ah, as usual, it was just what I needed, right when I needed it. God works that way. Not sometimes, but always.